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| Women will usually only use "cunt" once they are in a very intimate relationship with the person they are talking to or if they wish to shock the listener/reader or emphasize their own readiness to face their sexuality head on Cervix Glans, head, helmet, tip Dong, erection, John Thomas, knob, lingam, member, phallus, priapus, prick, old codger, old man, one-eyed trouser snake, shrew tamer, shaft, spear, stiffy, todger, tumescence ' Good:- ‘Yes, Sir There is nothing wrong with shooting a long jet of COME over her tits This applies equally to words that do not concern anatomy or coitus E Breasts, areolae and nipples Baby feeders, boobs, cleavage curtains, knockers, secondary sex(ual) organs, squeezables, tits, two little boys fighting in a sack It will probably survive because the correct form makes it sound like she's playing a miniature violin g should it be ‘Of course, Sweet Thing,' or ‘Of course, sweet thing' ' Yes, my Darling ' Yes, my darling His modest jock-strap US style rules would render the above as He said "I am not the ‘man' you are looking for ‘No, Master She would not use a word like "hardness" Use of latinate anatomical terms (penis, labia minori) suggests that the speaker/viewpoint owner is educated/cultured 4 Her tight tee-shirt and miniscule G-string Ballbag (that's what Rabelais calls it!), bollocks, scrotum, sperm factories, the wrinkled old family retainer ***** The points on word choice are 1 The comma here performs no function ‘Wow!' breathed the boy The same slave will think of her "sex" until she submits, when it becomes her "cunt", thus showing the progress of her mentation from paragraph to paragraph It provides a nice pause; the speaker can almost be SEEN cocking her head or smiling between phrases It all depends on the speech rhythm you are trying to convey G-string is usual but not really kosher ‘Make me scream Kylie I'm sure there are lots more; but I hope these start you thinking and inventing "She came and came and came; and then, just when she thought she had no coming left in her, she came again – gloriously e Also, she misses a couple of important points and I wanted to suggest a few more "thesaurus" entries from my own repertoire – for the use and convenience of the young, as Oscar Wilde might have put it aahhhhh, fuck me," she begged On the other hand, the logically and grammatically correct He said: ‘I am not the "man" you are looking for' It depends on whether she's just being a sweet thing or whether he's giving her the nickname Sweet Thing The backside Arse/ass, behind, bum/butt, buttocks, derrière, fanny (US), fundament, globes, gluteus maximus, hindquarters, nates, posterior, rear, rear end, rump, seat Suck me til [sic] I cum, please Here are some rules I've had to learn the hard way (Teeshirt is OK Grammar checkers are good at picking up on this kind of thing ) Bad:- Her still wet sex You really wanna write "he cummed all over her breasts"? ***** Curiously, although there are several books on punctuation, there is no book available that deals specifically with punctuation for writers of fiction The male organs/genitalia Family jewels, the future of Britain (America, Canada, the world – as appropriate) Mandatory punctuation before closing quote ‘Did he?' she asked It is important to vary the words to avoid a sense of repetition " For me, I still use the colon, but sparingly ' – An order or request addressed to somebody asking them to force the speaker to shout out Kylie's name g Her badly applied makeup Her tight tee shirt and miniscule G string Hyphenate adjectives not nouns Good:- Her still-wet sex Otherwise, how can you write this: ‘Did he COME, Inspector?' ‘Yes, he CAME all over her breasts'? "Came", past tense of "to come"; get it? If you go for the "cum" option then I think the past participle should be "cummed" A character with even a mild sense of humour may refer to the lingam as his "pork sword" or use a phrase such as "pointing Peter at the prickpleaser" (note the use of alliteration Lots of people get this wrong, the most common examples being ‘Yes Sir', Yes Mistress', etc Labia (majori/minori), (sex) lips, those other lips, vulva ' ‘Yes, Darling ‘No, master (Unless you mean it isn't moving; a wet, stationary target for his thrust!) Her badly-applied make-up ' Whereas a purist (such as an editor at The Newyorker!) would want ‘This time, I'll take a rain check' Clit(oris) But don't overdo it This sentence is from one of wyo_girl's stories but she's by no means the only offender Alliteration, incidentally, is not the same thing as writing: fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!) A young, innocent girl might use "spear" and "sword" or even "thing"; words from her everyday vocabulary that are similes or euphemisms for the fearful tumescence she is gazing upon for the first time Wyo_girl has written a fine and very useful article on the choice of words in erotic description His oh-so-obsequious manner ‘This time I'll take a rain check ' The Master spoke quietly ' The master spoke quietly A chauvinistic guy with a limited imagination might say "love tunnel" or "honeypot" but I can't imagine a woman or an educated or sensitive man ever using such dreadful clichés Fowler, in "Modern English Usage", calls this "elegant variation" Anus, rectum, rosebud, the cacky chute, where the sun never shines g It's crazy, but the convention has been fixed at least since Samuel Richardson used it in "Pamela" I hate "cum" used like this, common as it is on this site and although it is in the dictionary these days Get writing! Those cunt-wrenchingly beautiful breasts of hers Examples A dominatrix talking down a slave will refer to the slave's cunt, not her sex or pussy, and certainly not her genitalia Sperm(atozoa), orgasm Come/cum, gift, jism, load, mess, semen, spunk, white stuff Capitalize proper names and titles Bad:- ‘Yes, sir Comma after introductory phrase/clause "So, you're going to help me?" is sometimes (usually) better than "So you're going to help me?" Example Rather than ‘She was too scared not to suck the monster at her lips; she was dog tired too,' (two too's) try something like ‘Fear prevented her from not sucking the monster at her lips; she was dog tired too,' or ‘She was too scared not to suck the monster at her lips; she was dog tired as well' BTW, in American the final full stop can't be where I've placed it (correctly in English) 2 "Make me cum One is less likely to get one's face slapped if overheard, compared to ‘Nice arse!' The (primary) female organs Centre of _____, fanny (GB), girls' bits, honeypot, sex, Lady Jane, Lulu, that thing you're sitting on, yoni Richardson again) ***** Finally, a couple of additions to wyo_girl's mini thesaurus (just for fun) ' – An order or request addressed to Kylie asking her to give pleasure (or pain) to the speaker Those two make sense of course but what about this? ‘I'm finished' he said Men tend to know a lot of word for the penis It was so good that I felt moved to reply and add a few thoughts But it must be YOU that decides is usually written without the colon as He said ‘I am not the "man" you are looking for' 3 On the other hand, sometimes you want to set a mood with repetition IMHO, that spelling should be reserved for expressions like "their guestroom-cum-dungeon" The choice of words ("cock" versus "hardness", say) needs to reflect the normal speech patterns, motivation and mood of the character who is speaking or whose viewpoint currently dominates the narrative 5 2 Womb My favourite adjective here is "calipygous" (= fair buttocked) The speaker's sentence ended with a full stop but the convention is to use a comma, because your sentence hasn't yet finished; like this ‘I'm finished,' he said Fried eggs, moon craters His modest jock strap (jockstrap is OK too) ' There will be some borderline cases, where you must use judgment; e In experimental fiction there are no rules, but some publishers have standards (which they usually don't publish) Women more often stick to one or two, such as prick and dick Comma before named addressee ‘Make me scream, Kylie 1 Apotheosis, climax, peak of pleasure, le petit mort, completion ' ‘Yes, darling Here's a sentence where I would leave it as it is Vagina " Finally, I rather dislike the use of words that appear nowhere other than in, for want of a better word, porn It is also correct to use a comma (viz Adjectives: bud-like, burgeoning, incipient, touch-tempting, Partonesque (my own coinage), pendulous, pneumatic, scrawny, hag-like |
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