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| " "I have my reasons, which you'll find out one day," he said reaching into the bag again I was on a bit of a limited budget and I had looked at all of the things he had bought and though I wanted to get them I couldn't afford it " I couldn't help but laugh as I said the same thing that I had said at the toy store, "You really are a kid at heart, aren't you?" "I thought we had already been through this April? Yes, I am, but the things in this bag are not for me I paused in the telling of the story to get up and move around " He pulled out a little toy cash register and handed it to me The biggest of which was why was Jackson doing all this? Why was he involving himself so much in my life? If I had known exactly how much he was going to involve himself I would probably have backed away This was one of Chris's favorite songs, I haven't listened to it in a long time," I said, looking out the window yeah, I'm okay, just have a little problem Now my nephew is a huge Tony Stewart fan so I was hoping to find something along those lines for him " "Why didn't I notice it when you came back with the drinks?" "You must have been thinking about other things, I was surprised when you didn't comment on it, but decided if you wanted to know ,you would have asked I was still having a hard time believing that he had done this My other two nephews were ages six and three and of course, none of them can ever be easy to shop for My niece is only 2 and so there were a million different things we could get for her Jackson kept pulling me from one store to the other and I was getting exhausted Mom couldn't have any more after me Third, either you can send them or I can have Beth send them, it's up to you, and I don't expect anything back My parents figured that there must be a short in it somewhere, because it was turned off at the time He was definitely a kid at heart; there was no denying that It turned out it was my Cabbage Patch doll " I felt a shiver run across my skin and it was then that I realized that the water had gone cold "Do you think he'd like this?" He asked as he handed me a little car garage and a couple of hot wheels cars For some reason I always did my best thinking while I was in the tub " "What's that?" "I seem to have forgotten a towel," I said as I blushed harder, thankfully he couldn't see it I turned the water as hot as I could stand and quickly stripped out of my clothes and slid into the hot water I didn't know what had come over me "What's in the bag Jackson," I asked It had been a while since I had actually taken a bath with the scented bubbles surrounding me I could just imagine how much Chris was probably laughing at me right now, he always did say that I was a drama queen He was out like a light, so I didn't worry too much about him waking up while I was gone I lost track of time as I sat there lost in my thoughts When did you manage to go and buy all this stuff though? You were with me the entire time and I know you didn't buy that stuff when I paid for my stuff It had seemed to me like he never left my side as I looked through things trying to pick out what the kids would want " "Well, I looked while I was with you at the toy store and I knew what I wanted, so when I went to get drinks I made a quick stop and paid for it before coming back As the notes of "Big Iron" filled the truck I couldn't help but smile We had also been to the KB Toy's toy store and I ended up leaving there with a talking doll and the movie "The Little Mermaid" for my niece "Jackson?" "Yeah?" "Can we uh I wondered why he was asking but decided to answer him, "Kayla, why do you ask?" "Well," he said, reaching into the bag, "I thought maybe she'd like this My mom always said that there was something not quite right about that doll, but no one could figure out what it was, at least until we turned it off I could feel myself blush as I looked helplessly at the door He wondered if maybe we should take the doll that we got my niece back and get her something else, but I told him that it was okay As far as I was concerned, he was actually one of the few that still sang true country and western music, plus, he'd always been one of my favorites "Well, just tell me where they are and I'll grab you one," he said between chuckles I had been sitting there for at least a couple hours, though it didn't seem that long to me It seemed like in one night, my life had been turned upside down by the man sitting beside me I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard him asking me another question I was surprised at the feeling of warmth that came over me I probably should have pulled my hand away but I enjoyed feeling the closeness The movies that he got were Shrek and Finding Nemo Let me do this April, I can afford to do it and I want to I kept wishing that Jackson could be here with me right now, and he had offered, but I figured that this was something I needed to do alone Knowing what was coming this time I couldn't help myself and I smiles as I asked him, "Okay then, what's in the bag for Bryce and Eric?" "Bryce and Eric?" He asked confused " "I'm sorry April, I just wanted to do something nice "Well, at least you're smiling," he said before reaching over and grasping my hand For my six-year-old nephew we ended up getting a basketball and a football It wasn't until we got back to my apartment and he brought it in with him that I remembered it Second of all, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to "April? You okay?" "Umm I seriously thought about going to the car and calling him on my cell phone, but decided that I needed to see this through to the end "Okay Jackson, then who's the stuff in the bag for?" "Well, what is your niece's name?" He asked I told him where to find them and then waited for him to bring one back to me " "Why don't you put that it's from both of us? Since they don't know me it would seem kind of weird to be getting stuff from me, don't you think?" "Yeah, well, considering the fact that my family has never heard about you there will be questions either way It was then that I realized that I hadn't brought any clean clothes in the bathroom with me, or a towel for that matter Jackson seemed to be having a good time and he joined in my laughter after I explained to him about the doll I also couldn't deny that it felt right waking up cuddled against him, and that thought scared me "Oh, uh "What you smiling about over there," Jackson said noticing I hadn't realized until then, that Jackson had a bag from the toy store too, but after noticing it I figured he'd just bought some board games and decided to forget about it We got to the mall and I knew right away that Jackson was definitely a kid at heart " "Oh yeah, right Jackson didn't see what was so funny until I told him about the talking Cabbage Patch doll I had growing up "I was just remembering " My curiosity was piqued even more after that My mom would live with it, as long as it didn't start talking when it had no batteries I don't know how long I slept, all I know is that when I woke up my head was pillowed against Jackson's shoulder and Jackson was fast asleep "Yeah?" "April?" It was Jackson "First of all, you can say they're from you if that's what you want to do We sat on the couch talking for a while and somehow I managed to fall asleep "Yeah, he'd love them, but why are you doing this Jackson? You've never even met my family or my nieces and nephews " "I just don't understand why you would want to Jackson, but If it's really that important to you then I'll send the stuff , but they will know that it's from you We were sitting around the house one night right before New Years and we heard something talking I couldn't help laughing as I thought of the look on my brother Kyle's face when he saw them "Yeah, what's up?" "Are you about done in there? I really need to use the bathroom go sit down for a little bit? I don't know when I've run around so much!" "You're tired? Why didn't you tell me you were getting tired?" "You were having so much fun playing with the toys that I didn't want to disturb you," I said grinning at him "Yeah, my other two nephews, I'm sure you didn't forget them She was a little too young right now to really appreciate it, but that had always been my favorite movie Why would he be buying my niece anything, he didn't even know her The truck was filled with silence for the first part of the drive back to town, though it was a comfortable silence He had to have spent at least sixty bucks on everything put together I had gotten the doll for Christmas one year, I think I was about five and I was so excited I guess it was just because I knew that I wouldn't be disturbed while I soaked I don't think I had ever talked so much about my and Jackson's relationship, but I felt like Chris needed to know When we were talking about the talking doll I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to pee my pants "What's your nephew's name? The one who likes Tony Stewart so much?" This was getting weirder and weirder I thought as I answered him We both cracked up even more over that "Jackson, I don't know what to say, but I can't send these to them For one, they don't even know you, " I started, but was interrupted by Jackson I had to keep stopping myself from getting out of the tub and drying off and going back to the couch to cuddle with Jackson I couldn't believe that I had forgotten a towel, but then again, I did have a lot on my mind Jackson had handed me his cd's to look through when we had climbed into the truck and I was surprised to see that he actually had quite a bit of country "Josh, that's actually short for Joshua, why?" I know I should have probably been expecting what happened next, but I was still shocked when he pulled something else out of the bag He must have been paying pretty close attention when I talked about my family, because both of the cars were Home Depot cars " "Okay, so who are they for? Do you have nieces and nephews? or little brothers and sisters?" "Nah, I'm an only child It also seemed like he was spending a lot of time with me, even though he didn't know me that well just a few things I picked up at the toy store We spent forever in the toy store since Jackson had to test almost every toy we looked at To say I was shocked would have been an understatement "You just shush!" We ended up going and sitting in the food court for a while and Jackson went and bought us both a couple of drinks from McDonalds " We didn't know what it was, but turned out, it was my doll My mom decided then and there that my doll was possessed and immediately took it straight to the dump My three-year-old nephew ended up with a couple of movies and a picture book I couldn't help but smile as I looked up at him, this man was so totally different from any I had known before We had never hung out before because frankly, I didn't really hang out with anyone from school, I was too much of a loner I started filling the bath with water and decided that I wanted a bubble bath instead " "I wouldn't say they were from me, if anything I'd just tell them that a friend of mine bought them for the kids I had spent the last nine years making sure that I didn't need anyone, but I could feel my walls crumbling I don't know how long I had been in the tub when I heard a knock on the bathroom door I couldn't believe some of the cd's that he had Normally I would have just drained a little out and added hot water, but I figured I'd spent enough time in the tub for right now and slowly got out It felt important to me that Chris should know how kind and gentle Jackson had been with me through everything that had happened Finally I decided on Michael Martin Murphy He was gone longer than he should have been, but I didn't think anything of it Thanks Susan, you are a doll! I guess I just got caught up in telling Chris exactly how I met Jackson "Well Chris, I guess I should get on with our shopping trip, huh?" I said, sitting back down and getting comfortable I know that the second the packages get where they are going that my phone will start ringing with a million questions Jackson wasn't done yet though and I watched as he pulled out a remote control truck, "This one is for Eric, I know I loved to drive these things around when I was little, in fact, I still do," he said grinning Bryce is the younger one, right?" At my nod he went on, "Well, this is for Bryce," he said as he handed me a set of finger paints that are for use in the bathtub Not long after that, the movie "Chuckie" came out and my mom went berserk He told me to call him if I needed him and he'd get here as soon as he could I had been settled into my nice 'safe' life and now there were all these unknowns in my life Maybe it was just that I wanted to get it all off my chest I had so far spent more than twice what I had originally planned on and I was ready to take a break " "Because I want to and that's all you need to know," he said smiling We talked about how old my nieces and nephews were and what I should get them I know not many people could feel completely safe in a cemetery, but the people I love were here and I felt safer here than in many of the places that most people felt safe She pulled the batteries out of my doll thinking that would fix it, no more talking doll, right? Well, all of a sudden we heard "I'm lonely, give me a hug " "It's okay Jackson, I can handle a few questions if that's what happens I made my dad put the batteries in the second I opened it and I had it sitting by me while I opened the rest of my stuff If he didn't have any nieces and nephews or any brothers and sisters, then who was the stuff in the bag for? I also was trying to figure out when he had bought stuff at the toy store Sometime after I fell asleep he had covered me with a blanket that we have on the back of the couch I covered Jackson with the blanket and left him sleeping as I headed into the bathroom to take a long relaxing bath So far we had been to the Nascar store where we had bought a Home Depot #20 hat as well as a pair of kids gloves with "Tony Stewart" written on them Like I've told you before, the thing that worries me the most is that I don't know why you are doing all this When Jackson woke up I'd have to send him home so that I could have some time to myself to think We sat there for a while and talked about the stuff we had bought for the kids ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I would like to thank my good friend Susan for the editing that she has done on this and the other chapters of "Life After Loss" without her you would have soooo many mistakes to read |
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